Jewish mothers

MICHELANGELO'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"

NAPOLEON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"All right, if you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me."

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S JEWISH MOTHER: "The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"

MOSES' JEWISH MOTHER:
"That's a nice story. Now tell me where you've really been for the last forty years."

THOMAS EDISON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed!"