I love you... really.

Found at The Mommy Blog... it actually came from Timothy McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Lists. (Click around there... there are a lot of funny lists.)

WHAT I ACTUALLY MEAN WHEN I SAY I LOVE YOU: THIRTY SCENARIOS
BY SHELLEY MCINTYRE

Do you want to talk about it?
You look tired.
Please don't be mad at me.
I approve of your behavior at this moment.
Please stop talking.
You look attractive.
These words are meaningless and I hate saying them.
It's good to be home.
You tell really good stories.
Please let me go to sleep.
I want you to make me feel less sad.
I admire your self-confidence.
Thank you for that excellent sex.
I didn't mean to hurt you.
There is nothing I can do to help you feel better.
Thank you for telling me I look beautiful even when I feel like hell.
I know you need assurances that I feel the same way about you.
I am about to tell you exactly why I am furious with you.
Thank you for being nice to my mother.
Thank you for wearing the shirt I bought you.
I'm sorry I left the back door unlocked again.
Thank you for not complaining that I went out last night.
You have the emotional maturity of a petulant five-year-old.
I know you hate these cocktail parties.
That is the exact CD I wanted to hear.
I know it bothers you that we sometimes say the same thing at the same time.
Thank you for not being an asshole while I flirted with that guy in front of you.
I have bad cramps so please forgive me for not responding to your advances.
Thank you for finally giving up your unrealistic goal of becoming a playboy globetrotter.
Thank you for massaging my feet even though you don't like feet.